I’m 31 weeks post relaxer and things are going well! *throws confetti; happy dance* I’m totally on cloud 9 and yes, I’m pinching myself daily trying to figure out if this is real or if I’m dreaming. The longer I stretch, the more I’m learning about my hair. I’m learning that my hair isn’t as complex as I thought and it’s manageable with the right level of patience and products.
This wash day started off with a good overnight pre-poo of extra virgin coconut oil. I finger detangled my hair really well before running a comb through it. I used the two comb method — Hercules Sagemann Jumbo Rake and Ouidad Double Detangler. These combs really help remove tangles so that I don’t have to deal with foolishness in the shower.
After my hair was fully detangled, I then moved to the second phase of my pre-poo. I used Komaza Pona on my hair and scalp. I also used HairVeda Red Tea Nourishing Conditioner on my hair. The Komaza Pona Hair and Scalp is an exfoliator / pre-poo that exfoliates the scalp and combats shedding. The HairVeda Red Tea Nourshing Conditioner adds softness to my hair.
I am all for using sulfate shampoo right now and I’m having great luck with it. Using sulfate shampoo removes buildup which allows my hair to respond better to conditioner so I cleansed with Nexxus Therappe.
I’m a creature of habit so I would normally reach for Nexxus Humectress but I decided to reach for a different conditioner – Silk Elements Kera Minerals. I purchased it from Sally’s Beauty Supply. A 12 oz. jar cost about $7.00. The conditioner is just like all the other conditioners I typically go for: thick and creamy. I mixed it with a tablespoon of agave nectar and a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil. The conditioner applied easily which I liked. The conditioner really didn’t make my hair feel like much of anything without using heat. I used my hot head conditioning cap for 30 minutes to let the conditioner do its thing and that it did. My hair was soft upon rinsing.
When it came down to leave-ins, boy did I layer them on. I didn’t intend to but it just kind of happened that way. I initially started off with wanting to flat iron so that I could trim my hair. Well, mid-way through, I decided to just tension blow dry with the cool setting and use the split-ender to trim.
nickle size amount, Pura Body MuruMuru Moisture Milk
nickle size amount, Cantu Shea Butter Leave In Repair Cream
pea size amount, avocado oil
nickle size amount, Mizani H20
pea size amount, serum
Yeah, yeah, I know…I used a lot of leave-ins. I normally don’t use that many but my leave-in combination for flat ironing differs from what I’d use for air drying so when I had a change of heart, things got out of sync so I just layered everything on.
Wash day is getting progressively easier but post-wash day is getting progressively harder. My hair is super bushy and thick. If I don’t braid my hair soon after washing, it becomes dry and breakage becomes an issue. I did have more breakage than normal this wash day with all the manipulation of split endering my hair. However, I’m very pleased to report my split ends are still under control. What a relief that is!!!
What’s new and exciting with your hair?
LOL @ the shower foolishness! Reading about your wash day just gave me a positive vibe! I am glad you are understanding your hair more and more especially at 31 weeks. That’s a lot of new growth to manage! You are doing a great job!
TY!! Girl, I have ~3″ in some places. That’s not much compared to some but to me that’s like a beastly bush to contain.
Congrats on reaching 31 wks post! That is not an easy feat by all means and I’m glad that things are going well for you. I’m 5 months post and I’m learning that my new growth just craves moisture period. I’m now starting to find some products that work for my hair. Ssk’s are still one of my biggest challenges and since my new growth is thick and densely packed it can make detangling hard but I’m trying my best to deal with it. I’ve alrwady cut 2.5 inches recently but it doesn’t look like I’ve cut anything, perhaps due to shrinkage or maybe my hair was longer than I thought idk. I plan to flat iron and trim some more next wash.
TY! I need to do up a post on SSKs. They are out of control at my nape. Using 2 combs pre-wash helps tremendously. I want to flat iron but I’m pooped after washing.
I’ll be checking in on that post about SSKs, I had to cut like six out of my hair this past wash day and I never really had to deal with them before
I’ve never dealt with them either so I’m trading one problem for another. Thankfully, they are only in my nape right now but gosh, this is nuts!
Congrats on reaching 31 weeks! Im 13 weeks at the moment, and boy, it feels poofy, I cant see length increase, if anything it looks shorter because the roots are now poofy! Congrats again! I will continue on with my stretch, you guys give me so much inspiration, Jeni from JGA is pretty awesome too! Continue to do your thing girl!
TY!! My hair looks shorter also. Congrats to you on 13 weeks. How far are you wanting to stretch? The true test will be summer…these hea’ wigs will likely be to hot for this smoldering heat.
I love your hair Jay! Always! I just wanna clear up one thing tho: are you transitioning or are you just on a really long stretch?
TY!! For now, I’m just taking a break from relaxers to to see if my problem areas improve, stay the same or worsen — split ends was the death of my length in 2014. I have some thinning that Komaza identified on my analysis. I want to see if that is improving since taking a relaxer break. Clearly my split ends are loving the relaxer break.
*Throws the confetti for 31 weeks post relaxer*
Who’s gonna clean up all this dang confetti?!? LOL!
Congrats for making it this far chica! Your hair is loving you right now! Plus I love how smooth your hair turned out without heat!
Thanks for sharing your #washdayexperience!
KLP @ SavingOurStrands
Somebody better come pick up this confetti! If I have to pick it up it will be smoke in the city. lol
TY! My hair is loving me so good right now. Mercy me, I am tickled pink. 🙂
Congratulations on making it this far!! What I have found helpful to keep my new growth at 76 weeks post happy is to cowash more often. My new growth is so thirsty for water that is crazy. I know that you’re currently washing twice a month but maybe you want to consider co washing in between to soften the new growth and give it the moisture a moisturizer might not provide. Let me know if you give it a try. Good luck!
TY! But the true congrats goes out to you @76 weeks! Wowzers. Are you stretching, transitioning or that’s yet to be decided? I have a love/hate relationship with co-washing. My hair is in plaits during the week. I’m afraid to co-wash without unraveling them. I can just see that as being dreads waiting to happen.
TY. I’m going natural. I might BC at the end of this year. You would have to unravel your plaits so the new growth can be thoroughly moisturized. It’s a life saver. I didn’t use to cowash before and the more new growth I have, the more often i do it. I still shampoo twice a month but cowash 2-3 times a month and only detangle on wash/cowash days.
How long or short are your wash days? And, what do you cowash wish…please forgive me if we’ve already talked about this. Charge it to my mind not my heart.
Sorry for taking this long. It has been a crazy day at work today. My favorites cowash conditioners are As I Am and Carols Daughters hair milk cowash. Lately I have been washing my hair, detangling with a moisturizing conditioner and after it air dries a bit I apply a deep conditioner (hairveda one, can’t rememeber the name but is really moisturizing or I use Giovanni smooth as silk). I leave this overnight covered with a plastic cap. Next morning, I rinse it out and either do a roller or flexi set or a twist out. I barely tension blow it out of pure laziness. On my cowash days, I just hop in the shower, cowash and then use a rinse out conditioner. Then, apply leave in and style in a bun until dries. Sorry for the long post!
Hi Priscilla, my day was nutty at work too. Thank you for the info and the length was just fine. Good detail! I like As I Am. I have not tried Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk. Back in the day….and I do mean back in the day — like, at the start of my hair journey, I used Giovanni SAS with hit or miss results. It may be worth revisiting just to see if results are the same. I can definitely see myself cowashing more in the summer. Thank you again!
Congrats on making it 31 weeks post!!
I know before this you said the longest stretch for you was 16 weeks, do you think you are more patient with your hair now, than you were back then? Besides the wigs, are there any other methods that helped you stretch this long?
I have a draft post written on this very thing because someone else asked me this very question. I think it’s a range of things, mostly though, my ends are not nearly as tangly and clingy like they use to be. My comb is gliding through my hair on wash day whereas it use to be tangle city. Trimming those over processed, raised cuticle ends have def helped.
Been eyeing that kera minerals deep conditioner for a while now. Is this your first time using it? Would you please review it when you use it more. It’s a bummer though that you had to use heat to experience its full effects.
It was my first time using it. I will definitely be using it again because my hair responded favorably (with heat, of course). I’ll review it after I use it more. First impression – it’s a keeper.
Thanks Jay,and congrats on being 31 weeks post. There’s a deep conditioner by the same silk elements that “dominates” my new growth while stretching :naturally silk elements deep nourishing conditioner. I picked and tried samples from Sally’s and my new growth was like “yes ma’am” lol. Maybe you can try it and see if your hair likes it. Good luck on your continued stretching/ learning your hair.
Lol, I needs my ng to be saying the same. 😉 TY for the rec. I will look for it this weekend or when I’m at Sally’s.
Lol. You’re welcome. I hope you like it.
Wow! That IS a lot of leave ins–so do you apply them and layer them one by one or mix it all together ?
I have always found that my ends LOVE olive oil mixed with 7 or 8 drops of Jasons Vit E oil (40,000 IU) it makes my hair so silky and soft (I put it on about 2 inches from the end then up the hair shaft and well away from my scalp)
What are your plans by stretching your relaxer this far? Are you planning to transition, texlax.. just see where it all takes you… go natural.. lock? This is really interesting–you have over a half year of growth behind you! CONGRATS!!
TY!!! I layered them. I normally don’t use that many. I normally use a cream and a serum and call it a day.
Is Jason’s of different quality than other Vit E?
I’ve yet to claim anything other than stretching thus far. I’m just in the zone and having fun seeing where this takes me. I really love the freedom I’m experiencing right now. I am also loving the positive changes my hair is making.
I simply cannot believe I’ve come this far. This is a big deal (for me). 🙂
Hi Jay! I understand that your hair is relaxed and you need coconut oil. The oil itself does not contain any protein, but it makes my hair feel like I just had a protein treatment sometimes, especially during the winter. Does it do that to you? You know, doing it overnight?
It doesn’t, Nerline. I’ve never had issues with evco. My hair loves that stuff. Heck, my entire body loves that stuff. I use it on my face as well. For some, evco is a no!!!
Maybe turn some shea butter into some body butter by melting your unused evco and whipping the two together. Add a few drops of fragrance and you have yourself a nice little treat. :0)
Oh and, of course, you can cook with it which I think you do, right? I’ve never cooked with it.
Thanks! I cook with it when I make rice with peas.
I’m so hungry so that sounds good and that’s saying something considering I hate peas.
Congrats on making it to 31 weeks! That is a loooong time. And you seem to be handling your hair very well
So far, so good. TY 🙂
Congrats! That’s amazing! I know you’ve had highs and lows on your way to this successful day. Do you have advice for hair journey burnout? My wash days are less enjoyable these days. Partly because of working long hours and also not seeing the growth rate I’ve seen in the past. I’ve modified my wash to make it as simple as possible. Prepoo, shampoo, 20 min deep condition with heat, air dry/braid out or roller setting. Also I have one small section in the back of my hair that is shedding excessively,so last night (and on future washes) I did a black tea rinse. Thank you for any tips and congrats again! This post is inspiring! 🙂
TY, Candra. I was at a point of frustration and burnout prior to this stretch. I’ve regained a love for my hair. Not having to fool with my hair much on a daily or weekly basis helped tremendously. I know not everyone is into wigs but that has been my escape from the frustrations of this journey. I too had scaled back as much as I could but wash days still annoyed me. I no longer feel that aggravation with washing & dealing with my hair less frequently. What aspects have you burned out – everything, wash day or weekly styling?
Alter Ego Garlic is hands down the best (and expensive I might add) product to stop shedding. I purchase from Amazon or Ebay. Just FYI should the black tea not help.
Now that you mention it, aspects I look forward to least are detangling and styling. My new growth is dry tightly coiled 4C hair. I have some more loose curls around my edges. I stretch anywhere from 12 to 16 weeks. I have been shopping around for wigs the last few weeks and found some shoulder length curly wigs that I really love. I wore my first wig a few months ago but just for a few days. I was overly focused on what other people thought about it, but I liked it.
I’ve thought about short term transitioning and doing a big chop. My husband looks at me with this dazed look when I mention that. Lol… But I don’t want to make an emotional decision. I’ll try wearing a wig again first and see how that goes.
I’ll check out the Alter Ego Garlic. I was looking up garlic oil treatments on YouTube, but I’m willing to spend the money on something that will work and save me time. Thanks so much Jay! You’re the best! 🙂
Detangling: it’s time consuming, I cannot lie. My pre-wash is the longest step. Shower detangling really helps minimize post-wash detangling.
Styling: would a french braid or 2 strand twists work since you can leave those in for a few days without having to redo them daily.
Wigs: you will have to charge forward and let the ppl talk because trust me, they will. They will come at you right and wrong but you have to be confident in your decision.
Transitioning: do what works for you and your household. Maybe BC isn’t the answer. Maybe you’ll have to long term transition. Ask your honey which he rather – you with short hair or wigs? I believe it matters what my honey thinks because I want him to remain attracted to me. I know some will jump all over me for that because they believe in doing what they want and disregarding the spouse but I stand by my statement. I wouldn’t want my honey looking a certain way I didn’t like. Fair is fair.
I provided you a link in another comment for AE Garlic conditioner.
Amen to that. A successful relationship must have unconditional love and a huge part of “unconditional” entails selflessness. The thoughts and feelings of our honeys must matter to us. And that makes it easier for our men to consider our feelings and thoughts in return.
He wanted me to go to a stylist but I wanted to do my own hair. So I still went to a stylist while doing my hair journey. After awhile he was like, why don’t you just do your own hair. Lol…
My husband loves relaxed hair and natural hair too. But short hair might be too much and I respect that.
So hopefully nobody jumps all over your statement because I know from experience that the way you are with your spouse really does work.
High 5 Sis!! My hubs love short hair believe it or not. I think I spoiled him with my stylish looks during my short hair cut era. I will say, I really do rock short hair better because it’s so stylish looking no matter. Long hair – well, I get in ruts with buns and such.
Going to a stylist is good but equally as time consuming so I might as well do my own. If you’re anything like me, I’m never satisfied so really, it’s pointless to go to a salon since I stay complaining about something.
Which Alter Ego Garlic product do you recommend? I found some shampoos and oil treatments.
Oh sorry, it’s the conditioner.
http://www.amazon.com/Alter-Ego-Garlic-Mask-Treatment/dp/B008RBSB28
WOAH!! 31 Weeks post!!! well done!!
TY Dabs 🙂
Hey Jay!!! Another reason why I love stretching!!! we get to enjoy and learn our hair to see what works for us. Glad everything is going good for you!
Now what’s this two comb method you speak of lol
Hi K! Thank you – I use two combs to detangle because the jumbo rake doesn’t remove all the shed hairs. That’s all…nothing fancy. 🙂
I remember when you couldn’t stretch pass 10-12weeks and now you are a pro at stretching. I’m so proud of ya. Why do i feel like i’m losing another relaxed sistah. Either way i’m following your progress.
Thank you, Tomi! No matter what, I’ll always be your sis!! I really don’t know what I’m doing to be honest. I’m just going with the flow and seeing where this takes me. I’ve come a long way because you’re right, 10-12 was my max for a long while. 🙂
Congrats!!!!! Your hair looks great! I feel like when I was transitioning, my hair at 31 weeks was a hot mess.
I think I missed this, but how are you keeping those splits at bay?
Mine like to crop up like crazy!
Wow! You made it past 31 plus weeks! That is just fabulous! I’m glad that new spray you got is working out for you!
TY!!! 🙂