Are you obsessed with achieving long hair? Every time we log onto Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or other social media, what do we see? Super long and dope healthy hair. When we look in the mirror, what do we see? A problematic head of hair that is short(er) in comparison to those on social media. Looking at all those beautiful heads of hair should be motivating but often times it has the reverse effect — it is frustrating and reminds us how much further we have to go to achieve similar greatness.
Let’s have an honest conversation with self – are we so obsessed with achieving long hair that it is impacting our happiness? Has the desire to achieve long hair consumed us so much that we feel we cannot live life to the fullest without it? Has social media led us to believe our hair is not long enough, curly enough, straight enough, even enough, thick enough or good enough?
In a recent discussion, a healthy hair enthusiast expressed her desires for long hair and the impacts of a recent hair setback (a setback is experiencing breakage or damage from a product or technique). She suffered breakage in a recent hair setback and lost a good bit of hair length. She feels long hair is important as it provides her with purpose and not having it is impacting her life.
Do you feel the same way? (and be honest)
My initial answer is no! Hair does not define me, I define it. However, the more I think on this question, the more I realize, I have not always been this chill about hair length.
When I first started my healthy hair journey, hair length did not matter much. I simply desired healthy hair. Soon thereafter, hair length began to matter after seeing so many beautiful heads of long, healthy hair. I became obsessed with hair length and it impacted me to a point where I was obsessing over breakage and checking every strand of hair that fell from my head. Let’s not even get into the number of hair length check photos I had. Thankfully, I eventually snapped out of that cycle and realized hair length is not everything. My current goal is healthy hair no matter the length although I prefer longer hair for convenience. However, longer hair is not a must for me to feel like I have purpose.
If you’re dealing with alopecia like my sister, then I totally get why you are stressed over hair. Alopecia is definitely a big deal as you’re dealing with something much greater than what I speak of.
For the rest of us, if you are stressing over hair length, just be patient! Assuming you are healthy and your scalp is healthy, hair grows at an average rate of 1/2″ per month. Retention is where you should focus your attention so that you retain as much length possible. Hair can be gorgeous at any length and it definitely does not define us. We are far greater than hair!
I love long hair… on other people. I think my hair issues are atypical. I regularly have this overwhelming need to big chop, and I do. I quite happily rock a TWA. I get quite desperate to cut my hair if it gets past say six inches. I’m trying to grow out my hair for the first time ever. I want to know what it’s like. Maybe I’ll like it. But it’s not easy when there’s a part if me panicking over having too much hair on my head lol
I’ve had short hair (the Halle Berry haircut) and it was some of the best hair days I’ve had. The downside was having to get the back trimmed and shaved up often. The grow out stages of that haircut makes for awkward hair though.
After growing my hair long, I became lazy and didn’t want the hassle of short hair. I actually think I look better with short hair though.
But yes, you’re atypical because most are trying to grow it long. My mom will chop her hair off without any worry. She’s like, it’s only hair. 🙂
*Raises hand* I’m guilty 🙁 At the point, I am now in my hair journey, I don’t stress as much as I use to. I look at other ladies with longer hair as a motivation and just accept that it takes time and patience to achieve that goal.
Patience is so hard to have though. I cut 3 inches the other day and didn’t blink an eye. It took a minute to get here but I’m kind of over hair length now. I just want health, for goodness sake.
I want long hair for now; my long being full shoulder length so I can wear buns. I’m not into styling my hair so buns work all the time for me. My goal though is to hit waist length to prove that my hair can be long too.
Will you maintain at WL or hit the milestone and then cut it?
I’m one of those that was guilty of checking every strand that comes out when I comb my hair. I had to snap out of it and realize that hair sheds daily.
At some point when other girls who started their hhj the same time or after i did and their hair was longer i was wondering what was happening. I soon got over that and patience has proven to be golden. I prefer health and thickness but who are we kidding if we don’t enjoy the length that it comes with.
Length totally helps with some styles. I can remember being a newbie lusting after length and frustrated that my hair wouldn’t do what others did. Lol
Hi,
I started my HHJ journey only a few days ago and I am already guilty !!! I am always looking at the hair that stay in my comb, or on my shoulder., and I am looking forward to washing them according according to my schedule. I dream of longer hair, my first goal is to reach shoulder length (neck length right now) but I don’t when I can expect to reach that length. I perfectly know it takes time but I can’t stop from feeling obsessed by my HHJ and guilty because if I had started years or months ago, things whould be different now.
It is EXACTLY the same when you are overweighted and you start a healthy living journey: you have to look for health first then you lose weight…
Anyway, I am glad to know I am not the only one obsessed with her hair.
Elle (from France).
Hi Elle! You’re not in this alone. We all have obsessed, are obsessing or will obsess at some point. It’s just how it goes. Don’t feel guilty though. You have plans in motion now to get to your desired goal. You will get there in time which you know. Keep up the progress & stay strong. 🙂