I’m having a moment of silence on today to reflect the events transpired on 29 Jul.
Warning: Please give me a pass to talk real world, personal life stuff. This is an emotional post so turn back now if you’re not into that stuff.
I was not planning to do a post like this but a major event happened that prompted the need for some personal therapy. Ok so, 29 Jul is no ordinary day. It’s by far one of the hardest days I face each year.
It all started one rainy afternoon in 1991. Mom, my sister and I were home taking a nap. It must have been a long day for all 3 of us to be napping. Some details are a blur at this time but here’s what I do remember: suddenly, my sleep was broken by a parade of sirens. I think to myself, dad should be home by now but quickly drift back to sleep. Moments later, a knock at the door — we all jump up, dazed and confused. A relative in panic says to my mom – you and the girls must come with me.
You see, my dad had been in an automobile accident. He was a passenger in a car that hydroplaned. The driver walked away scratch free. Dad’s life was claimed almost instantly. He was revived several times but later lost the fight. I was only 13 at the time – I was lost, confused and just didn’t understand why this happened. The house was empty, our lives changed forever.
Fast forward. For many years, a dark cloud surrounded the days leading up to and after 29 Jul. I always make a promise with self to not be sad. I never succeed but I give it an honest try anyway. I was weepy the days leading up to 29 Jul of this year but at the start of yesterday, I felt I had my act together. Feeling good, I think could this be?
The day arrives by an employee within the division not showing up to work. The employee is very prompt and quite reliable. The supervisor tried phoning the employee but no luck. This was odd behavior and so unlike this employee to not call or show up. The supervisor makes a drive to the house of the employee to find loss of life — the employee took his own life.
Learning this news just made me go flat. It brought back all the emotions of losing my dad and then some. My heart is heavy. My mind is racing. So many unanswered questions of what triggered the employee to feel so hopeless.
Today will be a tough day at work as we share the news with all employees. The Chaplain will be available to those in need. I’m ok and will hang strong. I will be back posting tomorrow. I didn’t feel up to posting much last night after learning the news so I took the evening to collect my thoughts.
29 Jul is just a day that will always be in history as “that day.”
This post will vanish in 24 hrs because this is a hair blog and I don’t want to cloud it with a bunch of personal stuff. However, I just wanted to share a bit of what transpired and why I’m having a moment of silence.