Should what others think matter to us? Why do people overreact when they see black women wearing wigs or weaves? Why do people make us feel self-conscious about our decisions?
How People Reacted to Me Wearing Wigs
I can remember the first day I wore a wig in the workplace, non-blacks were head over heels and loved it without needing details. Some eventually inquired but their questions were innocent. They wanted to know if my hair was naturally curly as they had never seen me with curly hair before. They made me feel like pure perfection.
Women of color, took a different approach. They asked a million questions, with wanting every single detail before offering a lame compliment. I really wanted to say to them, if you like my hair then just say that. Why do we have to go through a round of questions before I can receive a shady compliment?
Let’s not forget the women of color that ask questions but offer no compliments. They pump me for information with the girl, what did you do to your hair before concluding with the ever so shady, I knew your hair looked different for some reason.
There were a few men of color that tried to front like they knew everything about hair because their wives wear extensions. One dude tried to tell me he knew I was wearing a wig because I was wearing a headband. Since when did a headband become the universal sign that someone is wearing a wig? Boy bye!
Think Before You Speak!
There were moments when I simply did not want to hear another comment or be asked another question because none of these encounters were adding value to my life. I could only imagine how my sister (who is dealing with alopecia) felt if she was receiving the same reactions. You see, I can opt to never wear wigs again whereas wigs are her only option. The critical folks never stopped to think I might be wearing wigs to grow my hair or because I’m having issues. Instead, they opted to be judgmental, as folk always do.
Stop Projecting Negativity On Others
Here’s an interesting observation, in every situation encountered, before the conversation ended, every single woman, and I do mean every one of them, expressed interest in wearing wigs but were too self-conscious. I find it funny how their inhibitions caused them to project negativity onto others. I’ve truly come full circle and my ability to be unbothered by stupidity improves daily. So to my opening statement, the opinion of others should not matter! Do you, stay great and let the hater’s hate!
Now that my sister is dealing with alopecia, it has put things in a different perspective for me. You really never know what a person is going through that might be forcing them to wear wigs, hair weaves and hair extensions. Words are powerful, impactful and mostly, hurtful – so please, think before speak if you’re of the vocal crowd.